When someone dies you may stop and reflect about your own life and mortality. Especially when the death wasn't from a life long illness and was a life taken in tragedy. I've been to many funerals and have had to put together my own Father's memorial video at his funeral. I also synced songs from his favorite singer Dean Martin onto the memorial video. I recently put together a playlist on Spotify that had all the songs I want to be played at my funeral. I have went to funerals before where the family did not do as their loved ones wished when putting together their funeral. You really didn't see or hear anything that truly reflected the person who passed. I know it's a tough time for the family and you really don't want to deal with what kind of flowers for the funeral or what memory card looks the best. You just want that person back and for it all to be a horrible nightmare. So on my Spotify playlist I chose songs that I love and that would probably fit the mood. I know even if I wanted people to just celebrate my life, it wouldn't happen. I did end the playlist with a more up beat song, so that will satisfy what I want. Does this all sound egotistical or just reassuring that my funeral will truly reflect "me"? I'm hoping the latter as I truly don't think any hymnals played would be "me." So, I'll share my funeral playlist and maybe you'll think of yours as well? To me, it's just as important as a will. I know that sounds crazy, but music is my life and is something to be shared and celebrated just as someone's life is. 1. Perfect Day-Lou Reed (Transformer) 2. Life Goes On-The Damned (Strawberries) 3. Love Will Tear Us Apart-Joy Division (Single) 4. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out-The Smiths (The Queen Is Dead) 5. This Must Be The Place(Naive Melody)-Talking Heads (The Best Of) 6. One Day-The Verve (Urban Hymns) 7. Heaven Wait-White Lies (Big TV) 8. In My Life-The Beatles (Rubber Soul) 9. You Only Live Twice-Nancy Sinatra (James Bond:You Only Live Twice) 10. I Just Wasn't Made For These Times-Beach Boys (Made In California) 11. Angie-Rolling Stones (Goats Head Soup) 12. A Dream Of You And Me-Future Islands (Singles) 13. Three Little Birds-Bob Marley & The Wailers (Legend)
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So I have been single since earlier this year and finding someone who shares your same interests at my age is hard. I'm not much on the bar scene and my life revolves around work and my son, so it makes it hard to meet anyone. I have tried online dating sites on and off the last few years, with only one long term relationship coming from that experience. It's quite tricky to find a guy who is genuinely looking for someone special in their life. Most are there for someone special for the night, not life. Truthfully when I scan a guy's profile I go straight to their music preference section. I think music says a lot about a person and I also want to share similar music tastes. If I see that they only listen to country music or only list artists in the top of the charts I will pass. Country music is something I have never been able to get into and doesn't interests me at all. Okay..no my ears would bleed if I had to listen to it. Since I filter possible connections via their musical tastes, does that prevent me from finding true love or is this filed under the deal breakers category? When I was younger I wouldn't even bother with anyone who didn't like the same music as I did. To me that's about as personal as your religious or political beliefs. I remember one time my Step-Dad trying to set me up with a guy and I looked at his MySpace profile and he listed crappy rap music. Don't get me wrong, I do like some rap music. Mostly when rap was real and had more substance. Coming from a small town it was hard to find someone who had similar music tastes. You just don't see some cute guy walking down the street with a Bauhaus or Joy Division shirt. There for awhile I didn't really put musical preference as a top priority when dating someone. It was nice if they shared some of my music tastes, but it wasn't a requirement. I had just gotten to a point where I was tired of trying to find that someone with similar tastes, so I just put that on the back burner. After being in a long relationship I realized that yes, music preference is something important to me. I think there's nothing better than sharing the music you love with someone. I also think that concerts can be as intimate as sex. Sharing that energy and love of the music is something that instantly connects you and drowns you with a warm feeling within. I can still remember going to see Nine Inch Nails with David Bowie when I was was a teen with my then boyfriend. I had made up a story about sleeping a a friend's house and we drove to Cleveland to see them. I cringe at the thought of my son doing that one day, but it was an experience and something I'll always remember. I did join an online music site that is about meeting people with similar music tastes and somewhat a dating site. I think this is a great idea, but yet again the only guys I found that had similar tastes were in England! It works best if you perhaps live in a bigger city I think. So the hopes are for one day to find someone who I can share music I love with and they can share their loved music. Those I think are the best relationships because you truly share all of your feelings, fears, and moments through music when the words are hard to convey. As I was driving to the Fashion Meets Music Fest, my mind couldn't help but wonder about my last relationship. I had dated my ex for about six months and it ended abruptly with no real reason for the break up. I was blindsided and heartbroken. It took me a few months to finally get the nerve to start dating again. I knew if I had kept feeling this way and closing off all of these feelings I would fall into a darker area than I wanted. One day I just said "Fuck it, I can't feel this way anymore. I can't let what he did make me act and feel this way. He can't have that power!" Even though I am in a better place, it is hard at times; the unanswered questions, the doubts, and the what ifs. As I was driving under the Ohio welcome sign and arch I couldn't help but remember all the signs and landmarks along the way when I would drive to visit him. He lived six hours away from me so we would meet half way or I would visit him. It was a somewhat emotional drive through Ohio seeing the rest area we stopped at, the town we stayed in when we met halfway, and most of all the music we shared. My very first blog entry was about meeting Bob 1 from DEVO. My ex was related to one of the members by marriage and that's how I was able to meet Bob 1. As I said before, I was never obsessed with DEVO, but liked their music and thought they were underrated. I started to collect more of their vinyl and was listening to them again. It had been awhile since I really listened to them. My son also started getting into them and they're now his favorite band. So after the breakup it was hard to listen to them again. A few songs would remind me of my ex and all of the memories would flood in. I had asked the question to a music site , How long can you start listening to a certain band after a breakup? When can you listen to "Mongoloid" again without it reminding you that it was your ex's favorite song? Many who answered said about six months to a year. I couldn't listen to them at all when we broke up. Even seeing Facebook updates from the band or passing their signed records in the stairwell of my apartment was hard. We also had talked about how fun it would be to go to a show together and being able to be back stage with the band. I thought that would have been great fun. It's funny how music attaches itself to people, places, and certain times in our life. The one good thing about having music attach itself to your memory is when you start listening to a band because of someone. I've had a few boyfriends or guys that I've dated who without knowing them I might not have discovered The Smiths or The English Beat. Twenties years later I still think about the boy in high school I had a crush on when hearing Morrissey's "The More You Ignore Me." Whenever I hear Tiffany's "Promises Made" I think about when I was a kid and I had worn that tape out on a family vacation. We had went out west and the music just went with the whole beautiful scenery. I remember being in the back seat and pretending I was in a music video. Looking through the back window and lip-synching the lyrics as the mountains went by. I think the funniest thing is when I hear Stone Temple Pilots "Sex Type Thing." I remember when I was a teen and putting it on my Christmas list for my Grandma. I was surprised when I actually got it for Christmas as she is a very religious person. Still makes me chuckle today. On a sadder note, when I hear Dean Martin I think about my Father's funeral. Dean was his favorite singer, so we played his favorite Dean Martin songs. I'm not for sure if it takes time or just shear mind control to not think about that person when hearing a certain song. Maybe it will never go away? Maybe years later when I hear DEVO it will be a passing memory and it won't quite hurt as bad? I don't agree with the saying, "Time heals all wounds", but I do think it lessens the blow a bit. I'm happy to say I've been asked to be a contributor to Get It On Vinyl, a wonderful website dedicated to music and keeping your local music store alive. I wrote a review about the Future Islands after party show at the Fashion Meets Music Fest in Columbus, OH. If you would like to read it please visit the Get It On Vinyl site. Also check out their other articles and reviews..oh and the sweet merch!
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AuthorAngela Marie. I like writing. I like music. I have thoughts falling from my head. Archives
July 2018
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